In This Town
by Maru-sha
Summary: In This Town, you don't know what to expect. Be it shenanigans in the school yard, an escapee from Neinescape Infirmary, England's car coming to life and flying, America finding love from a tiny Asian male...your guess is as good as ours! Human-AU fic. Full summary inside!
1. Even some countries have to go to school

**Author Notes:** Well the time has come for another fan-fic I may or may not finish, haha! But the rundown of the format of this story is quite different than my usual work.

 **FIRST:** This story will be written by two people, myself and CuteDoodles from DeviantArt. This entire story is based loosely off our wacky RPs and we do hope it brings a good dose of comedy to your day.

 **SECOND:** This story is a Human AU of the Hetalia-verse, and historical accuracy isn't followed by the book. (Ex: in this story, Japan is the youngest of his Asian nation siblings) Countries go to school/have jobs/etc. like regular humans do. They can't die, so SPOILERS no one is going to die in this fanfic, but they can bleed, feel pain, give birth, etc. Everyone will maintain their canon appearances in age, no matter how old they are.

 **And finally THIRD:** this story will contain non-abusive spanking, usually given by China or England since they're crotchety old men who deal with their younger 'family members'. Don't like it? Skip a bit ahead in the chapter.

You may now read on! Laugh and Enjoy~!  
\- Ma **ru-sha & CuteDoodles**

* * *

 **In This Town - Chapter 1:** _"Even some countries have to go to school"_

The sky was slowly turning from black to a light orange as the sun rose to greet another day. The sunlight crept into the bedroom of one particular person, who was cramped in his bed with his 'siblings'. But he considered himself much older and took on a more authoritative role. The person in question was none of that Yao Wong, or China, as he was more known as. He was surrounded by Hong Kong, South Korea, Taiwan, and of course, Japan.

Japan was snuggled much closer to him than any of the other nations. This was due to the fact that they had all seen a horror movie the night before. Japan was particularly frightened and begged to sleep in China's room. China was more fond of his so-called baby brother than the other nations, who frankly were rather unruly, so he allowed it. The other nations just invited themselves in and after a night of laughter and cheerfulness, they all fell asleep.

Now it was morning, and the household began to go about the morning routine. China ambled out of bed, tripped over S. Korea and Pochi, the dog Japan brought home, and walked to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

The sound of the tea kettle whistling woke Hong Kong up. He yawned and noticed Taiwan still slumbering and quickly rushed to the bathroom for a shower. She had always been the first every morning to use it, practically using up the hot water. China had a strict ten minute shower limit, but she always managed to squeak by an extra five or six minutes.

Japan stretched and yawned himself awake. He managed to take his baths or showers at night so he never really rushed in the mornings. He found himself outside feeding the brood of silkie chickens little kernels of corn and leftover cooked rice from the previous day. He loved animals; they were quiet and seemed to listen to him, unlike his 'older' siblings who bossed him about like all older siblings did to their younger family members.

After watering China's bamboo garden, Japan made it back inside where Hong Kong was already dressed for school and sitting at the table playing his 3DS. Taiwan was in the bathroom, screaming at no one in particular about the lukewarm water, and China was placing breakfast on the table. Unsurprisingly to them all, S. Korea was still sleeping. The small statured Asian nation went to put on his school uniform. It just so happened that he had forgotten to put his regular one in the wash...again. So he had to wear one of Taiwan's spare female uniforms, skirt and all.

It was becoming increasingly clear to Taiwan, Hong Kong and South Korea that Japan enjoyed wearing the long skirts and breezy blouses. He secretly thought women's clothes were more varied and visually appealing. Thankfully China hadn't caught on and just kept lecturing Japan about 'making sure his uniform got washed' so this wouldn't keep happening.

* * *

Primped and ready to go, Japan wandered back into the living room and sat at the table and began to eat his portion of breakfast. It was then a look of terror spread over Hong Kong's face. Something had been bothering him all morning and he couldn't figure out what! But now he remembered...

HIS HOMEWORK!

Sure, he always managed to do it either at breakfast or in homeroom, but this homework was different. It was...MATH! Sure, math was supposed to come easy for the Asian nations, but that was a terrible stereotype! He struggled just as much with it as everyone else who doesn't like the fact that math you're never going to use involved numbers AND letters! Letters?! WHY?!

He glanced over and Japan who was finishing his eggs and sighed. He'd have to implement his one ace in the hole, one of the many reasons he valued Japan as his brother.

"Hey Japan, do my math homework in homeroom, okay?" Hong Kong said, not even looking up from his game. China was back in the kitchen, out of ear shot. He was very strict about schoolwork and would've rained down a storm of pain on Hong Kong's rear end if he had known he was 'cheating' on his homework.

"Ah...b-but...!" Japan tried to say, but Taiwan spoke up.

"Yeah, mine too!"

"But you're both in a class lower than mine!" he squeaked.

"Yeah! Don't remind us!" Taiwan huffed.

"It's embarrassing, our little brother being a grade higher in math than us! Way to be a goody-goody!" Hong Kong added, a layer of teasing on his statement.

Japan sighed and agreed, as long as they bought him Swiss Rolls from the pastry shop afterschool, then he wouldn't mind.

After eating their breakfast and finally waking South Korea up, the quartette of Asian nations left for the walk to school. China waved them off and after washing the dishes, plopped himself in front of the television to watch his favorite Chinese soap operas while folding laundry.

To be continued...

* * *

 **Author Notes:** Thus ends the first chapter! The next chapter will be written by CuteDoodles, so prepare to wait a whi-.

..Huh? She's already written it? Almost done, you say? Well then! Depending on how people like this chapter, I shall post the next chapter post haste!


	2. We Take In Strays!

Author Notes: This chapter is brought to you by CuteDoodles! She's from England, so don't mind the way some things are spelled and her brand of humor~!  
Enjoy!

 **In This Town – Chapter 2 - "We take in strays!"**

* * *

"Hey Taiwan! Did you see The Human Centipede last night?"

"Ugh, I sure wish I hadn't, Belgium! It was Yong Soo's stupid idea to put it on!"

"I know right?! Once you get over the initial shock, it isn't even that scary, it's just gross!"

"Yeah, well, at least they cover the worst bits with bandages."

"Yong Soo, for crying out loud, I keep telling you, Fire is resistant to Fairy type! Stop using your Slurpuff on my Rapidash!"

"Yeah, well, just you wait until you send out your Blaziken, then Blastoise is gonna kick your ass!"

Kiku idly flicked through the pages of his latest library book, pretending not to be listening in. But with the sheer amount of noise produced by everyone's overlapping conversations, it was next to impossible to not hear a snippet or two of at least one conversation.

Part of him longed to turn around in his seat and whisper to a vital strategy or three on his Pokémon game; but he didn't. Another part of him wanted to march right up to Taiwan and Belgium, and tell them about a REALLY scary film- but he couldn't do it.

It wasn't that anyone disliked him or was especially mean to him- in fact, his classmates were perfectly nice and civil to him for the most part. They had invited him to join in on their conversations and frivolities more than once, but it never turned out well.

They would start bombarding him with an endless assault of statements he didn't understand, questions he just couldn't answer;

"Hey! Great night for a banana fight, right?!"

"Why are you wearing a skirt? Don't get me wrong, it suits you, but-"

"Come on, you should smile more! You look like were gonna eat you alive!"

Kiku would desperately scramble for something- _anything_ \- to say-

"Well-"

"Pffft! He actually spoke!"

"Come on Kiku, we're only teasing!"

He would try to recover himself, try to say something witty or clever, but he would merely flounder, opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish at best, be driven to the verge of tears at worst, leaving him with no choice but to bid a hasty retreat.

He would look back and see their bewildered faces, and he _knew_ what they were thinking; "what did we do? We were just kidding! Why doesn't he like us, why does he act so weird?"

Kiku sighed, and started once again leafing through the book, looking for where he'd finished last time, when above all the din and confusion, he heard an unmistakable sound.

" _mew!"_

Kiku leapt out of his seat as though he'd heard a fire alarm. His eyes slid from one end of the homeroom to the other, scanning for the slightest sign of a whisker, or perky ear or fluffy tail or...he was getting distracted.

" _mew!"_

It couldn't be too far off. Surely it wouldn't hurt if he were gone for just a minute or two...?

Kiku skidded out of the room as discreetly as he could, leaving the other students to their last minute homework and discussions on questionable horror films.

"Here, kitty kitty kitty..." The young Japanese student crept from hall to hall like a burglar, peeking under benches, checking in open lockers, even daring to peer into the occasional trash can, but still the phantom cat was nowhere to be found.

The little cries and meows grew louder and more urgent, and Kiku was no closer to finding the distressed little feline, but still he searched, the fact that classes would have started by now having slipped his mind.

His search now took him up to the top storage attics of the school. In hindsight, it was probably just as well that the attic rooms were left unused, because the condition they had been left to rot in was, quite frankly, a disgrace.

It was damp and mildew wept from each corner, moss and ivy slithered its way in through the broken windows, spiders scuttled from every nook and cranny. Rusted, broken flotsam and jetsam from past school years was stacked up to the ceiling haphazardly and with no sense of organization. Everything, from smashed computers and twisted chairs, to soaked books and moth-eaten uniforms, was thrown together, the unsteady piles trembling, threatening to topple over at any second. All in all, it was easy to see why students had been banned from these rooms.

Kiku crouched down, keeping his eyes peeled for the barest sign of movement amongst all the rubble. "Kitty...are you in here?" He winced and shuddered as his bare hands and knees touched the slimy, moldy floorboards. "Please, come on out, I won't hurt you!" He strained his ears for the cat's calls.

Nothing.

Perhaps it was trapped somewhere? What if it was scared half to death by now? Not that Kiku could blame the poor little thing. This place was so damp, and dark, and cold, anything could be lurking anywhere! It was the ideal candidate for a monsters hideaway. Kiku was so preoccupied with all his thoughts, he didn't even see a small black shadow silently creeping up behind him, slow at first, then faster and faster...but anyone will notice if the back of their leg is licked by something very wet and rough.

"AAAHH!"

" _MEW!"_

Japan scrambled to his feet, gasping for air as though he had just burst out of the water, his heart pounding like a jackhammer in terror, until-

"Meeeeew...!"

A tiny little brown kitten with cream coloured whiskers so long they touched the floor, bright blue baby doll eyes, and the smallest dab of white fur on the end of its tufty, stumpy tail, peeked out from behind an old chest of drawers. It dared to take one step closer, sniffing the air curiously.

"Ohhh...poor little guy, how did you end up here?" Whispered Kiku, kneeling down to the kittens level. He reached out a petite hand, only for the creature to shrink away again. "I'm awfully sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you! Y-you just startled me, that's all. All the same, I'm so ashamed of the fuss I made! A big human like me, scared of a tiny kitten like you? I don't know what came over me!"

As Kiku continued to speak to the kitten in his sweet, gentle little voice, the dainty little cat inched closer up to him, playfully batting at a stray thread hanging off of his sock. It grabbed the thread in its mouth, tugging and pulling as it shuffled onto his lap.

Japan cautiously lowered down his hand, brushing his fingertips along the little tufts of fur. Finally, the kitten let out a purr, in a state of pure bliss. "Well goodness knows, I can't just leave you here, all alone! I'm just going to have to bring you home...my family won't mind, because they won't even know about it!...Not just yet, anyway." Kiku muttered, looking around shiftily as if he were about to be caught in the act of a terrible crime.

* * *

Yao slowly kneeled down, trying to ignore the groans and creaks from his joints. He closed his eyes, immersing himself in the tranquility that was the makeshift shrine in the laundry room. "Honorable ancestors...please help my young siblings to do well at their studies today."

The still silence was abruptly broken by the sound of smashing pottery. Almost before Yao could think, Pochi suddenly sprinted into the room, yapping and barking at the top of his lungs. _Somebody_ had left a bag of slightly open chicken feed tied to the little dog, leaving it to trail behind him. Pochi rushed around the room as though he had gone rabid, scattering chicken feed everywhere, barking madly the whole time. And sure enough...

"BRRRRAWWWKK!"

In flew all ten chickens, barely giving China a second glance before they took to pecking up the seed. The elderly nation was now so used to this, he couldn't even bring himself to be angry, instead clasping his hands together in prayer even harder. "Please...PLEASE help them!"

* * *

Finally, the bell rang for the end of school. Kiku hurried out of the gates as fast as his short legs could carry him, keeping himself apart from the crowd. If he could take the forest route home, and get back last, then China would be far too occupied with his other siblings to notice him. It was the perfect plan, foolproof! There was just one anomaly that Kiku hadn't counted on.

"Heeeey Kiku! I've got your Swiss rolls here from Mei and- EEWWW, you smell like mold and dust! What have you been doing?!" Kiku huffed irritably, having to crane his neck to look up at his older brother.

"I wasn't aware we greeted people by telling them how they smell these days, Yong soo."

"Well I can't help it! You don't just smell like mold, you look like it too! Have you seen your dusty and scratched knees?! So what _have_ you been up to? Not anything that China would disapprove of, riiiight?" Queried with a knowing smirk. Before Kiku could come up with an excuse, an indignant meow emitted from his school bag. let out a pretend gasp.

"Oh no! Kiku adopting a stray animal?! I **never** would have thought it of you!"

"Oh _please,_ Yong Soo, don't tell anyone!" Japan begged, looking up with his beseeching doe eyes. "He's only a baby, he'll never survive on his own, he needs to be taken care of-"

"Well, I dunno...if we could reach a little... _agreement,_ then _maybe_ I could-"

"I'll do your chemistry homework for two weeks."

"Done."

* * *

Back at home, in the time it took for to take off his jacket, Japan removed his shoes, hung up his jacket, scuttled down the hall and firmly shut the sliding door to his bedroom.

Apparently _too_ firmly for China.

" _Kiku!_ What I tell you about slamming doors?! Don't make me come in there!" Before Yong Soo could slip past, it was his turn to be interrogated. "There you are! Now who tied a bag of chicken feed to Pochi all day?!"

immediately leapt to his own defense. "You accuse me of everything around here! 'Who put fabric softener in the dishwasher?!' 'Who tried to feed the chickens hot wings?!' 'Who walked through the tatami room in muddy boots?!' "

"I was just _asking_ you, so watch your tone!"

Just as China was taking a deep breath to begin a standard procedure lecture on respect for elders, the house was filled with enough meowing to sound like A dozen cats, interrupted only by the occasional " _shhh!_ Do you _want_ to be caught?!"

China's hand that was fixed in his scolding finger of disapproval position, now changed into a clenched fist. " _Kiku...!"_

The elder nation marched over to the sliding door and knocked like thunder. " _Kiku!_ I am giving you until the count of three to come out with that animal!"

"Um...uh...animal? What animal? I don't have an animal in here!"

"Don't you _dare_ lie to me, young man! _One!"_

"I told you, I don't have anything!"

"You no can hide anything from me in this house, Kiku, I spent all day here! _Two!"_

"You can't come in here!"

"Oh, can't I?! _**THREE**!" _ Yao yanked the door hard enough to practically take it off its hinges. Well, if sliding doors did in fact have hinges, that is!

To be continued...

* * *

Author Notes: Not bad for her first try at fan fiction writing, if I must say so myself! Great work, CuteDoodles! Next chapter is my turn, so give me a few days and expect to find out the fate of Japan's new stray animal!


	3. China decides!

**Author notes:** Huzzah, it's time for chapter three, written by me this time!

 **In This Town** – **Chapter three** : " _China decides!_ "  
(I know the title is lame! Shoot me...)

* * *

"This is for lying about sneaking in another animal, Kiku!" China scolded, swatting his younger brother's rump once more out of the nearly dozen wallops already delivered. Usually Japan was a quiet little country who barely even raised his voice. However, under the right circumstance...

"Waaahh! I'm sorry, Chinaaaaaa!"

...Under the right circumstance, such as shots from the doctor's office or while being spanked, in this case, was all it took for his rarely used vocal cords to be used overtime!

"I no going to lie to you, this is hurting YOU much more than it is me!" Yao continued, noting to take great care in not over-doing it. But damn it all, Japan already brought a dog home and was raising a brood of chickens in the backyard. A cat on top of all of that would be far too noisy and too expensive to feed. They were on a budget! Rice along good fish and meat weren't cheap!

"...And that makes twenty! Now go sit on a stool and think about what you did!" he commanded, helping Japan up to his feet. Japan's hands flew to his sore posterior in a vain attempt to rub away the sting through his underwear. But he quickly scooted out of his room and towards a corner in the living room. He gingerly sat on a stool that all of his siblings had found themselves on every so often.

Hong Kong was in the living room with a large pair of headphones on, but he turned his head to Japan and smirked a bit. He KNEW and Japan knew that he knew and he just wanted to vanish into a void from the embarrassment!

"Know what sounds perfect right about now?" he asked to Taiwan, who was surprisingly doing some homework.

"What? Steamed buns?" she asked.

"Close! But I was thinking TOASTED buns!" he laughed. Taiwan's small mouth scrunched up into a snicker, but that gave way to a huge wave of laughter after a second or two. Japan wasn't amused at their teasing! But he had done his fair share of teasing whenever any of them or S. Korea got spanked, so he couldn't hate them for it for too long.

"WELL!" China boomed, stepping into the living room with the kitten Japan brought home under his arm. "What we do about THIS?!"

Taiwan's eyes lit up and she scrambled to her feet to get a closer look at the fuzzy delight. "Soooooo cute! I say we keep it!" she squealed.

"I second that motion." Hong Kong added, not really caring what happened. He was never really into animals...for the time being.

"Absolutely not! We no can afford another animal!" Yao reminded them all.

"It's a cat, not a bear!" S. Korea argued.

"Plus, we have a rodent problem on this side of town anyways! It can be an outside cat and eat its fill of the field mice." Taiwan reasoned. China had to admit that was a good point and began to think about it when Japan spoke up from his place in the Naughty Corner.

"B-But...! The poor little mice!"

"Oh for heaven's sake, Japan! Cats eat mice, it's the circle of life!" Hong Kong groaned.

"I love that movie~!" Yong Soo chimed, a need to watch The Lion King growing in him with each passing second.

"I agree with Taiwan. We only can keep kitty if is remain an outdoor cat, aru!"

Japan huffed, but was glad that China was considering keeping the kitten. He hoped, at least! The fuzzy four-legged creature mewled as Taiwan held it and stroked under its chin gently.

"We should name it." Hong Kong advised. "It seems to be a male, so nothing stupid like those damn boy pop bands!" he continued, glaring accusingly at Taiwan AND S. Korea.

"Screw you, ShineE and Super Junior are legendary!" Yong Soo growled.

"Exactly!" Taiwan added.

"Besides, I was thinking we should name it-"

"If you say Optimus Prime, I swear to god..." Hong Kong interrupted, instantly making S. Korea's expression deflate into a pout.

"How about just 'Kitty"?!" China huffed to no one in particular. All four of his younger siblings looked at one another and nodded. It was so simple, yet fitting!

"Kitty it is!" Taiwan announced, dumbfounding China for the moment. The kitten under his arm finally managed to free itself and leap onto Japan's lap. He mewled happily, nuzzling his face against his stomach, causing a wave of "Awwww!" to make its way from the mouths of each of the Asian nations.

"Well now," began Hong Kong, who was usually the more stoic of the family. "Who's turn is it for making dinner tonight?"

A small silence filled the living room, before Taiwan spoke up quickly, "Nose goes!"

All four younger nations quickly touched a hand to their noses, leaving China not only on dinner duty, but confused as all hell.

"What mean "nose goes"?!"

"It's a thing Canada and America do at school sometimes! Someone shouts 'nose goes' and the last to touch their nose has to do the task no one wanted to do!" S. Korea explained. Yao still didn't quite understand, but felt jipped! "That not fair! I didn't know the rules, aruuuu!"

"Oh weeeellll!" mused Hong Kong. Japan laughed a tiny bit. He was always so shocked at how brazen his siblings were with China. If he himself had tried to speak that way, boy would he be in trouble!

China then clearly spoke up. "Fine, if I have to cook dinner, I will use Kitty."

Japan's eyes grew as wide as saucers and he nearly screamed. Or, perhaps he was... Even when screaming he tended to be quiet. China's words were nothing to argue about! Hong Kong instantly stood up. "I'll cook! Jeez!"

China smirked and left for his room to lay down. "Call me when it ready." he said, shutting the sliding door behind him. With a sigh, Hong Kong rolled up his sleeves and entered the kitchen. Japan stood up from the corner and offered to help, which was greatly appreciated. He was mostly just happy to not be sitting on his sore rear for a while! Taiwan sat on her favorite pillow in the living room and began to scroll on Facebook, while S. Korea planted himself in front of the TV. Kitty made himself at home on the floor and curled up for a nap.

"What are you making?" Taiwan shouted over her shoulder towards the kitchen.

"Curry!" Hong Kong shouted back. His sister's face scrunched and she made a "blegh!" sound. That was usually what Hong Kong made every time it was his turn to cook. Mainly cause it was quick and easy to make with not many ingredients. It got repetitive to eat, but it was still food, and she and the others for at least grateful for that.

"No potatoes in mine, please!" S. Korea requested.

"You're getting potatoes!"

"B-But...!"

"You're a growing boy and need your nutrition!"

* * *

Dinner time came and the entire family sat down to eat. S. Korea glared at the large portion of quartered potatoes on top of his share of curry, but managed to eat every bite since wasting food was 'dishonorable' according to China.

"It's spicy, as usual!" Mei said with a cough, sipping down some tea after a few bites.

"Spice gets the blood flowing! Good thing, too. That school-wide immunization is tomorrow, right?" China asked.

"Yeah, for the upcoming flu season." Hong Kong mentioned.

Japan's eye widened. Immunizations?! T-That meant...SHOTS! He hated going to the doctor just for that reason! He had to figure a way out of this! It was still evening and he could play sick in the morning...

"Yes! That will work!" Kiku thought to himself. He'd play sick and miss school and also miss getting his shot. What a perfect plan!

To be continued...


End file.
